In media and films we have often found glorified versions of romantic love and have dreamed of a similar relationship with its own unique ups and downs. Yet, in real life we found heartbreaks, sexual violence, exploitation and frustration. Have we been confused between illusion and love? Here are some insights to have us meditate and introspect about what true love could be.
- Attraction Is Not Real Love: Romantic attraction is often based on a fleeting hormonal surge that is sometimes called ‘love at first sight’. This could be compared with how your taste buds could react to the sight of delicious food, except that in this case it is the body, the voice, clothing, mannerisms or any other trait that pulls us towards a person. To put it squarely, it is illusion and not love because it is based on the outer qualities perceived by the senses. Instead we can see ourself and others equally as divine beings that are in essence one with God/ Goddess who is the source or creator. The quality of our relationship is based on how much divinity we can bring into our moments through an inner awareness of the spirit or soul instead of mere physical traits.
- Sex is Not Real Love: The pleasure derived from physical sex is related to our muscles, nerves and brains and can be compared to any other biological activity that releases tension. Meditation can help us relax our bodies, nerves and brains to such a great extent that we do not always require any stimulation from the outside. In a world where people are more meditative and relaxed, there is lesser sexual violence or consumerism because people are not always looking for physical release through somebody else. When we relax our bodies and minds through yoga and meditation, natural peace and bliss is experienced at a much deeper level that is far more joyful in comparison to the temporary high of sensual enjoyment. True love is grounded in an inner bliss of our own spirit instead of ‘consuming’ sensual pleasure from the outer being.
- Habit Is Not Real Love: We sometimes get so used to being around someone, especially close family, friends, roommates, classmates, office colleagues, that we mistake our habituation to the other individuals with love. Our vibrational frequency can get affected by others, whether in a positive or negative way. Being with stressful people can make us feel ‘used to’ unrequired stress, while being with talkative people can keep us feeling ‘okay’ with unnecessary gossip. Such relationships neither bring us closer to divinity, nor help the other person attain any kind of self-realization. It may be a better idea to be with our-self instead of staying attached with others beyond a certain limit, even if they be our closest relations. We can give our love and affection unconditionally by being more meditative and inspiring others to be the same so that healthy space is created for self development of each individual.
- Emotional Drama Is Not Real Love: Painful separation and reunion is often depicted as the hallmark of true love in popular culture whether in plays, mythologies, poetry, novels or cinema. Betrayal, jealousy, anger, depression, manipulation, sado-masochism and other drama make for bestsellers and are eagerly grabbed off the shelves. Unhealthy associations with love can make us feel terrible for not having enough drama in our lives. Lost in illusion we seek meaning from excitement and thrills instead of through inner stillness and peace. True love however flowers when we return to our-self and feel a connection with our inner truth. If there is anything that always stays the same through all the changes on the outside, it is our own peace within.
- Dependency Is Not Real Love: Most couples and families choose to stay together not due to genuine love but due to fear which is the lack of love. The fear of how one can live all by herself or himself makes many people stay on along with their spouse or relatives although what they really need is strength to be with themselves. Financial, material and emotional dependencies are illusion because somehow the universe will always send us enough to help us learn, grow and stand on our own feet. We all need to let go of any and every dependency and make our own path clear towards greater freedom and self-assurance.We can still remain together with our loved ones, out of a conscious choice and not out of dependency or fear.
- Selfishness is Not Real Love: While we deepen our relationship with ourself through inner love, does it mean that we become less loving with others? Does self-love make us selfish and cold-hearted? Should we not take any responsibility for how we treat others or behave with other people just because we are focusing on our ‘inner self’? The truth is that our inner self awakens us all as One being through the deepest core of peace and unconditional love in our own heart and soul. In each of us is the source of compassion and loving kindness that is the all-creator. When we realize who we are through meditation, we awaken to become love which is infinite, universal and radiates peace. We may be human and make our own mistakes as we learn and grow in our spiritual path, yet at our core is an infinite stream of loving consciousness which includes all beings as it expands gently and surely throughout our life.
The choice of letting-go of illusion and accepting real or true love from the deepest level is ours in each moment of existence.